The Final Hours

Well here I sit. a sleep deprived man. We got to the hospital last night for the induction that is to occur today. Had laughs with family. Then we tried to sleep, and well I really mean tried. The monitor kept getting moved so not much sleep was had.

I remember laying on the bed/couch and praying for God's protection and safety for my wife and baby. For things to go smoothly.......... I remember getting some sleep but i also know I didn't get much as I'm tired and emotional.

Tears of joy, fear, and tiredness are welling up behind my eyes. Its scary knowing that the last nine months of anticipation is about to come to life. I know its been more real for my wife, but well for me the dad its hard as you see the changes the tiredness and the emotions. You see ultrasounds and the lot, but its just not real until the little one comes on the scene.

My wife has been a trooper as she hasn't had much sleep lately. I know so because I have slept but not restfully.

Hopefully in a few short hours I'll know what it means to be a dad, to love my daughter, to care for her, to met her needs. To know more what it means that we are a child of God, it will in the end show me more and more what it means when the Bible compares God as a father.

I best be going as the time for things to start nears......

~tfkr

Waiting.... Waiting.... Waiting....

So the baby is due in a week. and Its time to wait for her.... We know for sure know that it is "she".  I sit at work waiting for that call, making sure I have my cell phone with me at all times.... its waiting for the unknown.

Being a dad is scary.... Just not knowing if my daughter will like me.  Wanting to be a cool dad, and do the best thing and what is right for my daughter....... So I am waiting..... Hoping to be the best dad!.

So it's a ..........

Well we had our ultrasound, well another one that is last week..... and well its a funny thing that its actually hard to tell what you are having.  The technician thinks that it is a girl, but well you never know.  So we are thinking its a girl as Jennifer has been feeling that its a girl. So we are going with that but for the major themes I believe we are sticking to a neutral Jungle theme.  We will be working on names but well those will remain a secret for the most part and once we choose one no one will know until the big day.  So if you have ideas send them along.  I'll try and post some ultrasound pics once I have a chance to use the scanner.

So I'm not sure how to feel.  Its getting closer but still doesn't feel real.  Scared to have a child I guess you can say.  Not sure how to be a dad of a girl or of a boy.  Guess I'm more in the fog about it than I thought.   I guess I have time to learn how to parent, and how to watch out for those bad influences, as well those will be some years down the road.   

More later.... need the last bites of sleep that I can get....... 

~tfkr

Belated post

Ok, yeah I'm not staying on top of things and writting often. Its crazy with school, work and everything. We have started putting the nursery together, have the crib set up, moved my office out and well starting to figure out what to do. But well can't do much of it till we know what we are having. And well June 1, 2007 baby permitting we will find out what we are having. I'm not saying I want a boy or girl, I want a baby, a healthy one. No matter if its a boy a girl I will have to adjust. So i'm excited to know, then we can start picking out the names and working on that as well.

More to come post ultrasound.....

~tfkr

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy

Random thought just hit me..... In less than 5 months I'll get to met our bundle of joy........

And then begins the 18 plus year of watching my child grow, molding them, and answering the questions.....

Daddy, Daddy, daddy..... why does? what is? where? how?

I don't know how I'm going to be able to be the wise one...... I often right now feel that I'm not wise, that I don't know much, and that I am struggling to know what I need to know now......

God is faithful, He will teach me and provide me with the wisdom and the people around me to help me....

~tfkr

Patience...... Its a key

So one thing that I am learning is patience.I am a do do do, go go go person, and Jen has been over the years making me learn to be patient. Right now we are waiting to do any prep work on the nursery till we know if its a boy or girl. The news will determine the paint color and other aspects of the room, so we can't really move on that till we know.

Being the dad is hard as all you see is the changes that your wife goes through and an external developments such as morning sickness and the normally pregnancy changes. So its hard. I'm looking forward to the days when the baby is more active and I can "interact" with the baby more. I know Jen's not looking forward to that though.......

It's hard for me to be patient as I am also nervous about being a dad. Will my kid like me? Will I know how to be a good dad? Do the right things? Say the right things? Make the right decisions? There is so much that goes through one's head. Since we still have till October I know I'll have alot of time to consider and worry. I need to just remeber one thing..... PATIENCE..... Just as it takes time to get a good photograph of a butterfly, too patience is a good thing in all of life, especially fatherhood.

~tfkr

A whole new view....

Well changes have already begun around our household. The office has been moved. Paint colors are being looked at. And well of course my nerves are starting. Going from being just a husband to now a husband and father is such a large change. There is another person to care for. Another person that is greatly affected by what things I do or don't do, when I get home, when I go see friends, and what job I have.

i don't think anything really prepares you for the change to life that a child is. No one tells you the mix of excitement, fear, concern, joy, and happiness that can be experienced. No one tells you about the morning sickness and how it really is. I think i'm coping well so far, but we'll see what the next months bring. We have had an ultrasound as you can see. We aren't as far along as we thought, but Jenn thinks the baby will be here sooner than the doctor expects.

I'm excited and nervous. No matter if we have a son or daughter I don't really care, but either way I will have to adjust to it. Having a son means I will have to be more interested in sports and well try to understand them so i can pass them on. If its a daughter I will also have to adjust as I never had a sister growing up, have to protect her from all the bad guys that will be out there, and well find a way to connect to a female that is alot younger than me. Either way i'm excited, and I know that I have a lot of learining to do........ But I have time to adjuster right? Time to learn? Time to get the projects done?..... I know that some things will happen and some things won't get done over the next months.... I'm just excited. For now I guess I'm just on for the ride as I'm not the one carrying our bundle of joy........ My true fun begins the moment our child mets the world face to face!

~New Daddy......